The Good Morrow Page 9
Chapter 9
I
During his stay at Sunnyside Foster was subjected to every conceivable kind of psychiatric treatment. He was given pills, injections, hot baths, massages, electroshock therapy, you name it. There were tests which resembled nursery school activities, psychodramas and group discussions with other inmates, exercises in which he was encouraged to vent all his anger on large cushions with a plastic baseball bat. All to the accompaniment of endless questions from a variety of voices about everything from how he felt about his bowel movement to why he wanted to be a poet. References to Annabelle or “this girl you see” punctuated the jabbering voices like a leitmotiv.
II
The moon shone through the bars on the windows filling the ward with soft shadows. A patient sang in his sleep while Foster slept quietly at one end of the ward.
A nurse entered at the opposite end and glided through the ward like an angel of mercy, checking briefly to see that each patient was resting comfortably. It was Annabelle.
When she reached Foster’s bed, she leaned over to give him a kiss on the forehead. Foster’s eyes opened and a sleepy smile spread across his face. He reached to take her arm.
“Stay for a minute and let me look at you.”
She smiled and sat on the edge of his bed.
“They keep me so drugged here I can’t even think. And I have no sense of time at all. I don’t have any idea how long I’ve been here.”
Foster hesitated before broaching the next topic.
“I think I’ve figured out how to get out of here though.”
Annabelle stiffened apprehensively.
“I think all I have to do is pretend you don’t exist. It’s crazy, I know, but that seems to be what it boils down to. Every time the doctor talks to me he always…”
Foster noticed that Annabelle was crying.
“Annabelle, don’t. Oh Angel, you have to understand. I’ve got to get out of here so we can go back to Bellevue.”
“I don’t want to lose you.”
“You’re not going to lose me. Think of it as a joke we’re playing on them.”
“It’s not very funny to me.”
“It’ll only be temporary. We’ll be out of here in a month or two. I guarantee it.”
“No. If you want me, it’s here and now or never.”
“Don’t be like that. We can’t stay here. Look, when we go back to Bellevue, I promise I’ll be yours completely. I’ll forget about my writing. I’ll even get Kathleen to bring our meals up to the room so I never have to leave you.”
“I’m not interested in promises.”
“I have to get out of here. I’m doing it for us. It won’t be so bad. You’ll see. We’ll be out of here in no time, and then we can be together forever.”
III
Foster was busily making a clay pot while Annabelle sat opposite him looking hurt. He ignored her totally as he worked. She made a face at him, but he paid no attention. She tried again, with an even more ridiculous face. He still did not respond.
She poked her finger into his pot, but he just kept working the clay as though nothing had happened.
Miss Simpson, the nurse in charge of the craft shop, paused to watch Foster work. Annabelle put her hand under the table onto Foster’s thigh and began tickling her way up towards his crotch.
Foster jerked his legs away from Annabelle as Miss Simpson commented on his work.
“Why, Foster, I just think that’s marvelous. I’m so proud of you.”
Foster responded with excessive enthusiasm and deference.
“Why thank you, Miss Simpson.”
As the nurse moved away to observe another patient, Foster noticed that Annabelle had started to cry. He broke down and spoke to her in an aggravated whisper.
“For Christ’s sake, give me a break. I’ve almost got this thing licked and you’re gonna blow the whole thing.”
Miss Simpson turned back towards Foster.
“Did you say something, Foster.”
“No, m’am. I’m just trying to get this clay to cooperate.”
IV
Foster was in his pajamas and had just finished brushing his teeth when the night nurse offered him a sleeping pill.
“How ‘bout it, Foster? Need a pill tonight?”
“No thanks. I’m sleeping fine without them these days.”
“Good.”
The nurse moved on to the other patients, and Foster walked over towards his bunk.
Annabelle was asleep under the covers in his bunk – or at least she was pretending to be asleep. She opened one eye and peeped at him as Foster sighed impatiently and crowded into bed next to her.
Annabelle snuggled up to Foster and tickled his ear with her tongue.
Foster just grit his teeth, closed his eyes and lay perfectly rigid.
Annabelle slid on top of Foster and began kissing his face playfully.
Foster whispered through clenched teeth without opening his eyes or moving at all.
“Please, Annabelle. I’m scheduled to go home a week from Thursday. Don’t make me do anything we’d regret.”
Annabelle just kekpt on kissing him.
“All you have to do is hang in there for another week and then ride back to Bellevue with me.”
When Annabelle began caressing Foster under the covers, it was more than he could take.
“Come on, godammit!”
He pushed her off of him and stood up out of bed. The nurse saw him stand up.
“Is anything wrong, Foster?”
“No m’am. I’m just excited about going home next week. Maybe I will take a pill tonight.”
The nurse came over to give him a pill.
“Okay. It’s not a bad idea.”
Annabelle caught Foster’s eye as he started to take the pill. He hesitated as he saw the anger and pain in her face.
He turned his back on her and gulped down the pill.
V
Foster was dressed in Montgomery Ward’s most stylish casual outfit, as he said goodbye all around. Lee stood nearby holding Foster’s suitcase and looking more uncomfortable every second.
“Hey man, whadyasay we split?”
“Right. I just want to say farewell to everyone.”
Foster shook every hand in the room, but he still did not seem ready to go.
“You ready?”
Foster glanced around rapidly as though he was looking for someone.
“Right.”
He finally started to leave.
“I don’t mean to tear you away. I just don’t want anyone to start asking me any questions. They might think I should stay for a visit.”
Foster pretended to savor the fresh air and sunshine of freedom as Lee threw the suitcase into the trunk of Bubba’s car and got into the driver’s seat. Foster looks around anxiously.
“You comin’?”
Foster opened the door, but didn’t get in. Lee gave up and took advantage of the moment to light up his corncob pipe.
Foster finally climbed in. He had a puzzled look on his face.
Lee offers the pipe to him.
“Here. Try a little of this.”
“No thanks.”
As the car pulled out of the drive onto the highway, Foster turned in his seat to look back anxiously.
Lee breathed a long sigh of relief and settled down for a nice mellow trip.
Foster caught a glimpse of a figure walking through the trees just inside the wall surrounding the hospital grounds.
“Wait! Stop!”
Lee screeched to a stop, as Foster jumped out of the car to run towards the trees.
There was no one in sight, and Foster became very aware of the way Lee and the security guard at the gate were looking at him.
He spoke in a desperate whisper.
“Annabelle?”
He glanced around quickly and then recomposed himself as he walked back towards the car.
“Sorry. I thought I saw one of the guys I hadn’t s
aid goodbye to.”
He waved goodbye to the security guard and climbed into the car as Lee laid rubber.